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Teenagers & communication problemsTeenagers health & lifestyle guideVery often it seems to us that teenagers speak an entirely different language to the adult and communication can almost cease to exist between parent and child. Yet if we stop and think back to when we were teenagers didn't our parents go through the same thing with us, however much we don't like to think of ourselves as being the "old fuddy-duddy" this seems to be exactly what we have become. For most parents of teenagers suddenly a void seems to appear from no where and you are on one side and your teenager the other, so how do we bridge this void? Tips for communicating with your teenager Parents can do a lot as can teenagers to help bridge the gap, parents should take an interest in their teenager's life, well as much as the teenager will allow anyway. By taking an interest in what your teenager does and what interests they have you won't feel so out of place and not with it; perhaps the number one reason for lack of communication between parents and teenagers is privacy. Teenagers always seem to want or need "space" and feel that parents don't give them this space or that parents are always on their back. Your teenager may also begin to feel inadequate when it comes to talking, as teenagers don't have the social and conversation skills that adults have. In addition, when going through puberty many changes are happening to the body and the teenager is often confused and embarrassed by the changes, boys find that their voice may flit from a deep growl to a high-pitched squeak for example and this can make conversations very embarrassing. Essential points for parents to remember * Always make time to listen - even though at times it might not seem like it your teenager does get comfort from the fact you are there for them should they need you, so always make sure you have the time to listen to them when they need it. * Respect your teenager's point of view and privacy - we all like moments alone in private and teenagers are no exception and even though you might not agree with what your teenager says or does, try to respect how they feel and don't always put them down. * Try to be flexible - don't always expect your teen to talk when you want, try to meet them on their terms too and make the time for a chat or listen if they want to talk when you're busy. Things you should never do * Don't play power games - just because you are the adult don't always be pushing this down their throat, this could make your teenager feel "why be bothered they don't listen". * Never make a rush decision or snap judgment - if your teenager asks to do something at least give it some thought before saying no, if the answer is no then explain fully why and how you reached the decision but they'll be reluctant to ask you in the future if you answer no straight away. * Never force your own ideas down your teenagers throat - as much as you want your teenager to do as you say try to not to impose your ideas and suggestions onto the teenager but rather talk it through explaining why you think it's a good idea. If you try forcing them the teenager will always rebel. |
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