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Helping teenagers cope with divorcing parentsTeenagers health & lifestyle guideDivorce is a stressful time for everyone concerned and perhaps more so for the teenager, teenage years are a particularly stressful time with many changes happening to the body and the emotions. The parents divorce can cause added stress to the already overworked emotions and this can show in a variety of ways, teenagers may suddenly feel many new emotions rising. Common emotions and feelings through this particular time could be: * Feelings of abandonment. * Feelings of insecurity. * Anxiety and depression. * Loneliness. * Confusion. * Anger. * Self blame. * Worries about the future. These are all common feelings in the teenager whose parents are going through a divorce and many times these thoughts and feelings will have built up for some time. Problems may have been apparent in the marriage for sometime before the divorce and the teenager may have heard constant arguments between the parents. However careful parents can try to be there will be no denying the stress and tension that will have hovered over the household, sadly very few marriages break up amicably. The teenager could have put part of the blame on themselves for the break-up and could feel that they were partly to blame for the decline in the marriage. After all to the child's way of thinking, the parents were perfectly happy for the number of years they were together before they came along. They will definitely feel feelings of insecurity and worries about the future; they will of course wonder what life will be like after the divorce and what will happen to them if either parent goes into another relationship. This perhaps will be one of the biggest fears in the young teenager; they also may feel sorrow for the parent they won't be living with especially if they have had a close relationship with that parent. What parents can do to help Parents can help to alleviate all these worries and more by talking openly with their child, they have to make sure that the child knows that both parents are there for them and always will be even though they won't be living together anymore. Some helpful points that parents should consider are: * Don't make your child the scapegoat by sending messages back and forth. * Don't pretend nothing is happening, talk openly with your child. * Encourage your child to ask questions. * Never put your child in a position where they have to choose between the two of you. * After the divorce don't grill your child about who if anyone is the other parent seeing. * Talk with your child about how they would like meetings such as school meetings handling, would they prefer both parents attended? * If you meet someone new talk this over with your child and quash any particular worries they have regarding this. * Always be open and honest however much you think this may hurt your child, it will hurt them more if they find you have lied to them. |
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